Everyone with a younger sister will be able to relate to what she is about to read. I am a college sophomore. My sister is a senior in high school. We are 23 months apart exactly. We are best friends. But...
We didn't always used to be so close.
When we were toddlers and pre-schoolers, we hated each other. She would bite me like an emaciated dog sinking its teeth into a fresh chop of mutton. I would burst into tears and tattle on her, seething with sinister delight as I watched one of my parents reprimand her.
When we were in elementary school, we fought increasingly frequently. We weren't as violent as when we were tots, but our arguments were more verbally charged. We would scream at each other. We would disagree on everything. We would argue over the tiniest, most stupid details just to prove to the other that one of us was right. We were too stubborn to be friends.
In high school, we each started to evolve into our own person. We pursued different interests and hobbies. We pursued different friend groups. We weren't constantly hovering in each other's personal space (which was a tremendous benefit to our relationship with each other).
Now she is almost graduated high school and I am almost halfway done with college. I no longer live at home and she is seeking to move out. I live about a thousand miles away (no exaggeration) so we only see each other on special holidays and breaks. We facetime often, but that is no substitution for the real face-to-face interaction.
Because of this distance, when we do see each other, we are as cordial as humanly possible. We express our love for each other openly and with gusto. We spend more time together than would be thought healthy. And we actually enjoy each other's presence.
Our attitudes have shifted not only because we have matured as people, but also because we now realize the value of time spent together, since we are not granted much of it. We do not want to squander a weekend with each other by getting into a ridiculous fight over which way the toilet paper roll should face or who used whose hairbrush without asking.
We embrace each other's awkwardness and silliness and love each other regardless.
As our adult lives continue to flourish, I look back on my time apart from my sister and do not despair, but rejoice.
This time spent apart finding ourselves without each other developed our unique individualities, which we now carry into our emerging-adult lives. I am going on 21 and she is going on 19. We are both fully functioning adults (with a little financial support from the parents, of course). Our adult selves look back on our childhood selves and laugh in retrospect at the absurdity of the fights, both physical and verbal, in which we would endeavor.
Our personalities are so different from each other, but we are sisters nonetheless and we love spending time together (now). When I am granted the time to spend with my sister, I can genuinely say that I enjoy it.
So, if any of you have sibling strife, trust me, it will subside with time, and with age will come shameless love and familiarity. Do not waste your time together now. For you never know how often or how long you will be with your family.
Reading your kids’ essays for college admissions and scholarship applications can be enlightening. That is if you get a chance to read them.
Since so many people have read and enjoyed my two Twins posts (Baker’s Dozen – Things Parents of Twins, Triplets, & More Hate to Hear and Baker’s Dozen – Things A Twin Hates to Hear), I thought I would share the essays that they wrote for a scholarship application for twins. I just happened to get a chance to read these, and I thought they were pretty interesting.
Note: For those who don’t know about the ABC’s of twins / multiples, when twins and higher order multiples are delivered, they are labeled “A” for the first born, “B” for the second born, and so on.
How My Twin and I Are Different
By Twin A
It’s really hard for me to distinguish myself from my twin sister, Jacci. There was never a Jacci and a Katy; it was always The Twins. Jacci and I aren’t identical, or anything. We’re actually drastically different from each other, but we are two parts of a whole. However cliché this sounds, we complete each other.
As a twin, I am frequently asked the same questions. However annoying these questions get, I find the best way to help people understand how different Jacci and I are, is through my straightforward answers.
Perhaps the most popular question I receive is “Are you guys fraternal?” I’m a boring brunette and Jacci is a ravishing redhead. Obviously were not identical. Besides the fact we are both short, we’re about as opposite in the looks department as it gets.
Another trendy conversation starter is “Do you guys do everything together?” I am a band geek, and Jacci runs cross country and track. So no. Our interests are about as opposite as our looks.
One of my least favorite questions is: Who’s smarter? I hate being put on the spot like that. If you say “I am” you’re cocky, if you say “she is” you’re dumb. It’s lose, lose. But, to be honest, Jacci is significantly smarter than me. At least I can hold it over her head that I’m 120 seconds older than she is.
More recently, people have been asking us if we’re going to college together. Yes, we are both attending college this fall. However, we’re going to the one that fits us and what we want to do with our lives, independently of each other. If that ends up being the same school then yes, we will. If it doesn’t… then it doesn’t. But as my mama says, I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.
Twin A – Last First Day of School, Senior Year
The Confessions of a Two Minute Younger Twin
By Twin B
My twin sister Katy and I have forever been viewed at as a package deal.
Case in point: Family game night meant constantly throwing the two of us on the same team. A childhood invitation for one of us inevitably led to an invitation for both of us. Plus, there are the birthday gifts. Unavoidably and always the same.
Thus, our identities were frequently being merged into one. Katy and Jacci turned into “The Twins”. Yet, there isn’t a glob of glue running down my side connecting me to my twin sister. We are two, distinctly different people and our graduation out of our matching Beauty and the Beast outfits proves just that.
There are two types of twins in this world: identical and fraternal. I am the latter. Obviously, this means that any sane person can distinguish between my twin sister and me. Katy has brilliant brunette locks and she recently described me as a “ravishing redhead”. Her skin tone has a faint olive tint to it. I, on the other hand, have millions of freckles. At school, it’s band versus athletics. Katy plays away on her marimba and I run away with my Cross Country/Track team. As far as personalities are concerned, Katy is bubbly. I’m laid back. I could go back and forth all day listing discrepancies. Therefore I’ll save the tedious list and sum it up: the word “twin” may seem to scream “double”, but frankly that’s a false notion.
Still, the truth is I am Incomplete without my twin sister. I may be two minutes younger and furthermore functionally independent, but I’m not wholly without her. We are the antithesis of each other. Our balancing act of differences makes us a pair. A pair of opposites and a pair of best friends.
Twin B – Last First Day of School, Senior Year
These just bring tears to my eyes.
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