As you may have seen in our last blog post, the prompts for all three ApplyTexas freshman application prompts have changed. We (the College Readiness team) challenged ourselves to think about how we’d answer these new prompts if we were still in high school. We started with Essay A, so this week we’ll talk about the prompt for Essay B. Happy writing!
Essay B:Some students have an identity, an interest, or a talent that defines them in an essential way. If you are one of these students, then tell us about yourself.
Kate: If I haven’t already written something similar for essay A, I might write about being from another country and how that has defined my identity and overall perspective (so this would answer the identity part of the prompt). Alternatively, I could write about how my identity and sense of self have been shaped through having a twin.
I was talented enough in dancing and singing to make Markettes and the varsity choir MHS, but I don’t think I considered either of these as talents that I excelled in (nor did I pursue either when I got to college). I held significant leadership positions through both activities, however, so I’m sure I could find a way to write about being a strong leader and my leadership abilities and/or why it was important to me to try out for those leadership positions..
Tips: If an interest or talent immediately comes to mind when you read this prompt, I think it would be a good idea to go with that. This prompt is asking you to talk about your passion and why you devote so much time to it. If you’re struggling to come up with anything to write about, consider your interests and the things that you make time for outside of school. What’s something that you started researching for fun that made you stay up way past your bedtime because you were so intrigued? How do you define yourself? If you’re struggling with this prompt, ask your family, friends, or whoever knows you best to help your brainstorm some ideas.
Something really neat about this particular prompt is that when you write this essay, you can probably use the exact same essay for the first prompt on the Common App (“Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”), which means one less essay you’d have to write if you’re going to be using both applications (yay!).
Alex: Again, there are two directions I personally would choose to take with this essay, based on my personal experiences. If I were to go the identity route, I would probably write my essay about my literal heritage: my father is from Czechoslovakia, and came to the United States when he was eleven, making me a first generation American on that side. Consequently, we’ve incorporated a lot of European traditions into our family household, and there were aspects of my childhood growing up that I never realized were uncommon in other homes. I would also probably incorporate the fact that my mother is from the Mississippi Gulf Coast, and I was not born in Texas, and so I have never really felt anchored to or affiliated with any particular location/state/culture.
If I were to choose the interest/talent route, I would write my essay about playing the piano and how important this was to me as a high school student. I was definitely one of the “artsy” kids, and piano was a musical outlet for me in a very specific way: playing the piano was one hundred percent for my own personal enrichment and enjoyment, without any kind of pressure to compete or perform (outside of two yearly recitals) or to be completely perfect at it. I would practice for two hours every day (again, being homeschooled allowed me the time to devote to this particular activity), and for those two hours I could relax, unwind, and immerse myself in a craft that, to me, was a worthwhile pursuit and an excellent use of my time. As high school students, we typically apply ourselves to activities and school work because we are working for the pay-off (getting a full ride scholarship for our grades or for sports) – but I never had to worry about that with piano. It was the perfect example of art for art’s sake.
Tips: What’s helpful about this topic is the flexibility – you can pick an interest or talent or identity. Just like Essay A, pick ONE topic and stick to it! The more narrow your focus, the better your essay will be! This is also the kind of essay where generating a list of possibilities will come in handy. Even if you are the star of your lacrosse team, you may get two paragraphs in and you’ve said all you can say about that particular interest – but find yourself waxing poetic about that time your dad bought a completely junked Cadillac Coupe de Ville and you both spent all summer restoring it to its original 1950’s glory (and now you’re planning on majoring in business so that you can open a dealership that exclusively handles vintage car restoration and sales).
Eriel: My high school experience is split in two parts. In Part 1 (grades 9th and 10th), I am a socially-challenged, homeschooled genius, taking private singing lessons and film-acting courses because I was determined to be the star of the Boy Meets World reboot. In Part 2 (grades 11th and 12th), I am (still) a socially challenged theater actress and budding fiction writer crawling her way to the graduation podium so she could chuck a deuce and say sayonara to an army of teenagers she could hardly hold a conversation with. At the core of this duality, I disliked (note the past tense here) people and loved to create things. My time being homeschooled allowed me to invest my time where I wanted – performing, painting, writing, creating, etc. Though my parents’ professions aren’t in creative departments, each member of my family had some sort of artsy talent. My mom loves interior design, my dad’s a chef, my sister’s a dancer, my little brother has his music, and my baby brother has his sketches. So, I’m guessing high school me would’ve rolled with an interest in the creative arts and how they pair with personalities or how they translate from personality to medium. To further specify the essay, I’d hone in on storytelling and how that creative art wedged itself into several mediums (i.e. performance, writing, cooking).
Tip: I think a major struggle students will encounter with this prompt is specificity. Because the prompt asks for an identity, interest, or talent, students may feel the need to address all three pillars here. That certainly isn’t the case. This is a pick one and run kinda thing. When you do pick, however, pick wisely. It may take a couple of drafts and drills to find the sweet spot, so take your time choosing before sprinting away with the topic in hand. I believe students should have a two pronged approach to this prompt: 1) Show off your personality and your hobbies, and 2) Relate it to what you intend to do professionally. This will give you the opportunity to show who you are and what impact you intend to leave on the world.
College Admissions Essays:
The Common App. Prompt #1
Out of the seven prompts you can chose from to write your application essay for The Common Application, I like the first one a lot. (UPDATE: As of 2017, you can now write about any topic you want. See new prompt #7.)
Prompt No. 1 is trying to “prompt” you to find and share a story that will reveal an important part of what makes you unique and special.
These are called personal essays, and they are what my entire blog is trying to help you learn to write!
In a nutshell, you write these types of essays in the first-person (I, me, you…point of view) and use a “write-like-you-talk” casual style.
Narrative-style (storytelling) essays are natural “grabbers” because you use mini-stories from real life, also called anecdotes, for your introduction to illustrate a larger point.
Related: How to Write an Anecdote: Part One
The structure can be as elaborate as you want, but in general, you “show” the reader your point with an anecdote at the beginning, and then “tell” or explain what it means in the second part. (Here’s a quickie guide to help you Write a College Application Essay in 3 Steps.)
(Those stiff, 5-paragraph essays from high school English class are history!)
Narrative, slice-of-life essays are ideal for almost any type of admissions essay. But some college application essay prompts are trickier than others to figure out how to answer the question by telling a story.
Others, however, are easier and actually ask for a story. Like Prompt No. 1. (and No. 2 and 4).
Here’s how to find and tell a story for Prompt #1:
Prompt 1 from Common App: “Some students have a background, identity, interest or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”
1. FIND A TOPIC: First, see if you have something interesting in your “background or identity” or with an “interest or talent” that could make a great topic:
A. Background: I believe that if your “background” is central to your identity, it could involve anything in your life that shaped you.
If you’re a student who faced an intense issue growing up, this is your chance to share that—since it most likely was defining for you (shaped who you are in some way).
By an “intense issue,” I mean anything from a parent who was abusive, or alcoholic, or not on the scene for whatever reason, to having a personal issue of your own (you’re deaf, or wheelchair bound, or bi-polar, or the oldest of 10 kids, or you’re battling a debilitating illness…).
Your “background” also can be defining if you come from a different culture, or have a family who practices an extreme religion or other unusual belief system, or a unique family situation (you’re adopted, or your parents are lesbians, or your mom is blind, or you survive on food stamps, or your dad hosts a famous talk show, etc…).
I think the point is that if you have a background that has been challenging on some level, it most likely affected who you are, and what you value and how you approach your life. If this is the case, it could make an excellent college application essay.
B. Identity: I would say if there’s something about you that defines you in a big way, this could be considered your identity. It really depends upon how you see yourself.
Here’s some that come to mind: You are any type of LGBTQ or any variation based on gender and sexual orientation. You are bi-racial. You were raised by your grandmother. You’re a triplet. You are the son of a celebrity.
I would say if you believe it’s shaped who you are on a fundamental basis, and you want to write about it, go for it!
C. Interest: I think this is self-explanatory. What is something you do that you are passionate about?
My advice is to pick something that is central to your life, and then find an interesting way to write about it. If you just spell out your “interest” in piano, talking about how you took lessons, gave recitals, love it so much, etc., that could be a dull, thumbs-down essay.
Instead, decide what specifically about the piano shaped you, and write about that. Or what personal quality or core value you developed from playing piano. Or was there something unexpected you learned from playing piano.
In general, I would be careful writing about an interest.
If you do go for it, find a way to write about that interest that reveals more about you than why you like to do it.
D. Talent: Same advice as with writing about an “interest.” Be careful!
A talent is really an interest that you are good at, right? Who wants to read about how you are really great at chess, or horseback riding or playing video games? Not me!
I would strongly advise you to not write about how good you are at something. The danger is that you come across as boastful or full of yourself, and that can be off-putting to college admissions folks. Remember, the goal is to be likable.
The best trick to writing about a talent is to think of “a time” it involved some type of problem (failure, challenge, obstacle, mistake, etc.). That can help you inject humility into your essay.
Of course, it’s possible to write a great essay about something you excel at, but give a lot of thought to what you have to say about it, and what your essay will say about you.
HOT TIP: One way to write about a tricky topic such as an interest or talent is to search for topics in the area of the everyday, or mundane.
Topics that are about impressive feats, like the time you climbed Mount Everest or saved someone’s life or won a gold medal, often backfire. Instead, the opposite–mundane or everyday topics or stories–work the best!
If you write about a talent, an essay about how you are the best at making tamales or tying fly fishing knots or cleaning cars would be much more palatable than how you play first-chair violin or won the state championship for cross country.
It is possible to write about impressive accomplishments, but you need to find the right angle or you risk coming across as all-important and not as likable.
2. FIND A STORY: Once you find a topic (and pick either something from your background, identity, interests or talents), try to find a compelling story or anecdote (a real-life moment) to start your essay that is an example of or illustrates the point you want to make about yourself.
To make sure it’s a compelling mini-story, make sure your anecdote involves a problem. (If you are writing about your background or identity, look for an example of how it was a problem on some level to use as your anecdote.)
This is also an approach that could bring some drama or a twist if you are writing about an interest or talent.) Not only does an anecdote work as a “grabber” for the reader, it sets you up to talk about how you dealt with the problematic moment and what you learned. (How to find a juicy problem HERE.)
3. CRAFT AN ANECDOTE: Tell your mini-story in the form of an anecdote. Just relate something that happened to you. Start at the peak of the action. This will be your introduction and take up the first paragraph or two.
Set the scene. Use descriptive language and concrete (specific) details. Include action verbs. Put us in that moment by describing what you saw, smelled, heard and felt. Include a snippet of dialogue, if it works.
RELATED: My Video Tutorial on How to Write an Anecdote: Part One
Condense your anecdote into a paragraph or two to use as your introduction. (How to write an anecdote HERE and HERE.)
4. TELL THE BACK STORY: Then give a little background (the “back story”) explaining what led up to that moment or event or problem, and then go on to describe how you felt about it, how you handled it, and what you learned in the process.
Make sure to find some way to express how what you learned linked to a defining quality—so that your essay has a sharp focus and doesn’t try to reveal too many different things about you.
5. WRAP IT UP: To write a conclusion, link back to that little moment you started with and bring the reader up to the present. Kind of like a status update.
Share how you plan to use your defining quality or the lesson you learned in your future goals and dreams, especially if it relates to your educational goals.
Example of a Personal, Narrative-style Essay
The New York Times just happened to share several well-written college application essays in a recent story to inspire college-bound students like yourself.
I’m going to copy my favorite one below, by a student named Lyle Li, which used the narrative style of writing.
I will indicate where the writer used an anecdote (in red) to “show” his point, and then where he went on to “tell” explain what it meant to him (in blue).
This essay is excellent. I believe he addressed his “background” in this piece. He shows us the challenges his family has faced, and we learned what the student values, and why. In the process, he comes across as a very authentic, determined and likable guy.
I believe the main reason this worked so well is that he chose a mundane topic for his story (his mom’s restaurant job), as opposed to some impressive accomplishment. Can you see the “problem” he shared in this essay?
Last thing: notice how personal this student was in this essay and how he opened up about his thoughts, fears and dreams. The more personal an essay, the more it connects with the reader.
See what you think:
By Lyle Li, from Brooklyn
Essay Written for New York University
(ANECDOTE FOR INTRODUCTION: “Showing”)While resting comfortably in my air-conditioned bedroom one hot summer night, I received a phone call from my mom. She asked me softly, “Lyle, can you come down and clean up the restaurant?”
Slightly annoyed, I put on my sandals and proceeded downstairs. Mixing the hot water with cleaning detergents, I was ready to clean up the restaurant floor. Usually the process was painstakingly slow: I had to first empty a bucket full of dirty water, only to fill it up again with boiling water. But that night I made quick work and finished in five minutes. My mom, unsatisfied, snatched the mop from me and began to demonstrate the “proper way” to clean the floor. She demanded a redo. I complied, but she showed no signs of approval. As much as I wanted to erupt that night, I had good reasons to stay calm.
(NOTICE HOW HE BACKGROUNDS HIS ANECDOTE HERE)Growing up in rural China, my mom concerned herself not with what she would wear to school every day, but rather how she could provide for her family. While many of her classmates immediately joined the work force upon completing high school, my mom had other aspirations. She wanted to be a doctor. But when her college rejections arrived, my mother, despite being one of the strongest individuals I know, broke down. My grandparents urged her to pursue another year of education. She refused. Instead, she took up a modestly paying job as a teacher in order to lessen the financial burden on the family. Today, more than twenty years have passed, yet the walls of my parents’ bedroom still do not bear a framed college degree with the name “Tang Xiao Geng” on it.
(EXPLAINING WHAT THE ANECDOTE MEANT: “Telling”) In contrast, when I visit my friends, I see the names of elite institutions adorning the living room walls. I am conscious that these framed diplomas are testaments to the hard work and accomplishments of my friends’ parents and siblings. Nevertheless, the sight of them was an irritating reminder of the disparity between our households. I was not the upper middle class kid on Park Avenue. Truth be told, I am just some kid from Brooklyn.
Instead of diplomas and accolades, my parents’ room emits a smell from the restaurant uniforms they wear seven days a week, all year round. It’s funny how I never see my mom in makeup, expensive jeans, lavish dresses, or even just casual, everyday clothing that I often see other moms wearing. Yet, one must possess something extraordinary to be able to stand in front of a cash register for 19 years and do so with pride and determination.
On certain nights, I would come home sweaty, dressed in a gold button blazer and colored pants, unmistakable evidence of socializing. In contrast, my mom appears physically and emotionally worn-out from work. But, she still asks me about my day. Consumed by guilt, I find it hard to answer her.
Moments such as those challenge my criteria of what constitutes true success. My mother, despite never going to college, still managed to make a difference in my life. Tomorrow,she will put on her uniform with just as much dignity as a businesswoman would her power suit. What is her secret? She wholeheartedly believes that her son’s future is worth the investment. The outcome of my education will be vindication of that belief.
In hindsight, I’m astounded at the ease with which I can compose all my views of this amazing woman on a piece of paper, but lack the nerve to express my gratitude in conversations. Perhaps, actions will indeed speak louder than words. When I graduate on June 1st, I know she will buy a dress to honor the special occasion. When I toil through my college thesis, I know she will still be mopping the restaurant floor at 11:00 PM. When I finally hang up my diploma in my bedroom, I know she will be smiling.
(Mr. Li will be attending N.Y.U.)
Want to learn how to write an anecdote like the one Lyle Li crafted to start his compelling essay? Watch My Video Tutorial on How to Write an Anecdote: Part One
What about the other four Common App prompts? Find help for other Common App prompts.
Check out my tutorial video on How to Answer Common Application Prompt 4: When Your Problem is a Good Thing. (I like the new Prompt 4 as much as Prompt 1.)
For more inspiring sample college application essays, check out my collection of narrative essays: Heavenly Essays: 50 Narrative College Application Essays That Worked!
Ready to start writing your own narrative essay? Check out my Jumpstart Guide to help you find a unique topic and start writing your own slice-of-life essay.
If you want more help, considering investing $9.98 in my short and simple ebook guide, Escape Essay Hell!, which takes you step-by-step through the entire brainstorming and writing process.